@Tuna_Lover: Things to get done: Make coffee, Drive a train high on cocaine, Rent a lion to eat my neighbor's dog, clean up mess from that lion thing.
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@AlisonAgosti: If Jesus died for our sins then why are there so many popups when i try to watch a movie online illegally
@TheDairylandDon: Why hunt for vampires when you can just open a tuxedo shop and have them come to you? Work smarter, not harder.
@Underchilde: Success is measured by how long it takes your boss to notice you’re not at your desk.