@thisislizz: Things would be so much simpler if everything was as easy as your mom.
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@BGH70: "Which one is you?" - My favorite response when someone shows me a selfie with other people in it.
@david8hughes: [lost in Spain] Wife: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Spanish with a local]: gracias Wife: well? Me: we are in Spain
@Kali_Mura: I'm beginning to suspect that my boyfriend is not really a ninja & that he moved out nine month ago.
@Monicann86: Every morning I wake up super pissed at my parents because I have to go to work instead of living off a trust fund.