@thisislizz: Things would be so much simpler if everything was as easy as your mom.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@seamussaid: FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys
@Ristolable: He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor
@Brianhopecomedy: Just saw that my wife was googling ballroom dancing lessons and now I'm hoping that she's having an affair.