@crushingbort: #ThingsGirlsDoThatGuysHate tease a man and get all his attention while the second velociraptor ambushes him from his blind spot
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@The_Grant_Boldt: "Mom can you pick me up a new comforter at the store?" "Okay" *Mom returns with Morgan Freeman* "I love you mom"
@huntigula: ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business
@moose_chocolate: I bet a cool thing would be to play musical chairs using toilets and call it "Game of Thrones".
@ruinedpicnic: "you look nice" - sweet potato "im so high" - baked potato "you suck!" - roast potato "what have I done" - guy who made talking potatoes