@crushingbort: #ThingsGirlsDoThatGuysHate tease a man and get all his attention while the second velociraptor ambushes him from his blind spot
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@mexinonblonde: Don't ever leave a bag of mini Heath bars at your desk to prove you can't be tempted.... Because Satan's game is strong
@liv_thatsme: I was gonna go to a New Year's Eve party, but the invite said "bring your significant other," & I don't feel like unhooking my TV.
@briangaar: Son, that bear is more afraid of you than you are of ... oh wow, that bear is being really brave right now.