@Mikecanrant: Think about a nice pair of slacks. Now think about a panda. Now about radishes. Now about salt. I think you see where Im going with this.
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@AudreyPorne: hate when people say "if u think this is better than sex, u haven't had good sex!", like no, maybe you've just never had good lasagna, Carol
@KevinFarzad: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball
@Matt_The_1st: Hot girl in the avatar, but no selfies in your pics. I'm just gonna call you "bro" from now on.
@gabeserra: My 3 yr old's idea of comedic timing is waiting till we're at least 10 minutes away from house to tell me he's not wearing any shoes.