@ItsAllCrazyToMe: Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes
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@shimmala: My kids are gonna be super disappointed when they find out sweet talk involves no exchange of tangible confectionary goods.
@internetluke: [cops showing wife my body] "Why is he 50m from where he got shot?" "Our best guess was he tried crawling home to clear his browser history"
@TheTweetOfGod: St. Patrick's Day may just be an excuse to drink, but then again so is Ireland.