@ieatanddrink: Think I nailed my job interview today because I wore a graduation cap to make it look like I graduated high school
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@audipenny: [speaking very loudly to no one trying to impress someone nearby] Man what am I going to do with all these hens
@iliezabeth: ALIEN:*points at Chihuahua* whats that? ME: a dog ALIEN:*points at Husky* whats that? ME: dog ALIEN:*getting angry, points at Pug* whats THA
@dave_cactus: ME: *seductively removes her G-string* HER: Could you please just hurry up and finish restringing my guitar?