@ColoChiver: Think of a number between 0 and 20 Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it?
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@AaronBurdette: With Girls Gone Wild bankrupt wild girls no longer have a home. Many of them will be put down. Please. Adopt a wild girl. Before she's gone.
@revenge_tanukis: It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
@iwearaonesie: coworker: Do you want a plate? me [carrying 2 pieces of cake out of the break room] For what?