@simoncholland: Think you're smart? Try explaining daylight savings time to a kid.
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@ericsshadow: GUY: my new boss is gay ME: my new bed sheets are warm GUY: [clearly frustrated] what does that have to do with anything? ME: exactly
@TonyFan1420: 8:00 AM: Too tired to think Noon: Too tired to think 5:00 PM: Too tired to think Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles??
@theprojectclub: Dad, how comes my sister is called Teresa?" "Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter" "Thanks dad" "No problem Alan"