@Parker_Simpson: Thinking ab including nude photos of me in my Tinder profile to weed out women who vomit easily
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@ZachWeiner: "How do you speak with an American accent?" "Well, imagine vowels killed your parents, and you're out for revenge."
@ceejoyner: Some fancy kids just egged my house with quail eggs. I went out to yell, and one of them garnished me with chives.