@skepti_ghoul: Thinking about going to 50 Shades and eating loudly the whole time.
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@Dawn_M_: I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life.
@hoedeehoe: 1st date: (don't let her know how self centered you are) Me: what's your favorite thing that I've said so far tonight?
@Brianhopecomedy: Glad I spent 40 minutes getting my 1 year old dressed so she could go outside for 3 seconds.