@skepti_ghoul: Thinking about going to 50 Shades and eating loudly the whole time.
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@ericsshadow: [my wife and I watch a drunk white girl fall out of a cab] I've never drank that much.... [wife looks at me in disgust] ugh, ok I have.
@RdrJay47: You all think your dad's cargo shorts are lame until you need to smuggle some Reese's Pieces into the movie theater.
@charrrllaa: If anyone finds 786 barely used tubes of Chapstick around my city, they're mine. I need them all back.