@NicestHippo: Thinking is hard, that's why I appreciate websites telling me in advance how I will feel about the article
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@iwearaonesie: *opens paper towels* dog me: It's not food *opens mail* dog me: It's not food *opens package of scissors* dog me: It's not f
@chimneyspotter: DR: Are you sexually active? ME: Very DR: Eating donuts alone in your car doesn't count ME: Still yes DR: Neither do croissants ME: Then no
@michaelajeffery: ME: Why does my stomach hurt? WebMD: Because of that Ouija board you messed with in the fourth grade, probably.