@GuyEndoreKaiser: Thirty years ago, Marco Rubio was bitten by a radioactive doormat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ComedicBust: Sometimes I'll casually say "what else do you want?" on the phone, so the pizza guy thinks I'm ordering for more than just me.
@ArfMeasures: ME: Then the robber came thru the door holding a gun COP: Was it a revolver? ME [thinks] No he just pushed it open & walked thru like normal
@ehchino: How do I know you're not a cop? "If I was a cop, how would I have this?" *shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it* Oh, okay good
@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright