@GuyEndoreKaiser: Thirty years ago, Marco Rubio was bitten by a radioactive doormat.
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@mompsychologist: Me: If you don't like my rules, maybe you can find a different mom. 4yo: *excitedly* Can we really do that?
@LuvPug: I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk.
@jake_likes_naps: *locks hands with stranger in elevator* im nervous, this is my first time flying
@Ghetto_Trophy: Imagine if people still used typewriters! We'd have to sit in a giant circle and throw pieces of paper at each other.