@Lakeoconeebldr: This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them
@sad_tree: oh so you rich guys throw the water out after you boil hotdogs. too good for hotdog soup. too good to dab the soup on your wrists like colog
@OtherDanOBrien: [Lady is being robbed] "Help, Social Media Man!" [Social Media Man swoops in & creates a facebook page called Mugging Is Bad]
@Terdoh: If I had a brewery I would make an alcoholic drink called "Responsibly". I wouldn't even have to pay for advertising.