@Lakeoconeebldr: This 5 year old is taking a call from his secret agent on a calculator and now I hate my phone.
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@Reverend_Scott: Witness: I saw the defendant stabbing the victim. Lawyer: Objection! Witness is ugly! Judge: Sustained. Jury will disregard the statement.
@danjan13: Adobe update is ready to install *gazes longingly into the distance*, but I don't think I am.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.