@YoungNobler: This ATM will not give me free money no matter how many times I try the Konami Code.
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@DumbConfessions: *sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* "Go. You're free now."
@joeljeffrey: I waited around all morning for the mailman so I could grab his hand through the mail slot.
@AbbyHasIssues: I threw old quinoa under my feeder and now the squirrels are walking around in Lululemon pants and requesting coconut water.