@redherringbear: This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
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@kristynhearts: Do you think maybe humans are gonna evolve with longer arms for selfie purposes?
@TheMichaelRock: I just had a coughing fit and think I accidently created a Nicki Minaj song featuring Ke$ha. Sorry, you guys.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Half the people who follow me are waiting for the nervous breakdown; the other half follow because they're easily impressed by semicolons.