@IvyelleWright: This bank pen tastes like it's been in a lot of other people's mouths
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@Mothpete: The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?
@SortaBad: "wow this rap song is good I wonder who this is" *waits literally 4 seconds* "oh there look at that he said his name how convenient"
@SteveKoehler22: My coworkers and I pitched in to buy Greece as a retirement gift for the boss.. We decided it was better than a $50 Applebee's gift card.
@thatUPSdude: Turns out if you fake a heart attack every Monday work sends you to HR and not the hospital.