@canadian_jane: This bar smells so bad and I can't tell who's homeless and who's a hipster.
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@KeetPotato: [gameshow] me: [visibly doing maths on my fingers] "17" host: [looks at me weird] "that's wrong" other contestant: "salmon?" host: "correct"
@canadian_jane: I respect strippers because its really hard to dance by yourself and not look stupid.
@longwall26: Life got you down? Just remember that you will never be as confused and sad as the friends and relatives of the world's first clown.
@ohpeetie: Today on Facebook: 1) Jen feels betrayed but doesn't want to talk about it 2) Kim started a prayer circle 3) Lori posted 87 recipes