@canadian_jane: This bar smells so bad and I can't tell who's homeless and who's a hipster.
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@shawn_spree: If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage.
@gerryhallcomedy: "I really wish I could squeeze that piano over and over" - guy who invented the accordion
@junejuly12: Him: Why do you always need the last word? Me: I don't. Him: Me: I don't really. Him: Me: I don't! And that's final. Him:
@Audenary: LINCOLN: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. TWITTER: No.