@BackrowSeats: This beautiful woman is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's just falling asleep.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Breadery: I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear.
@pharmasean: "I just figured the 'H' was broken on your sign" Nope, this is what I sell here. Now how many Doug nuts do you want?
@hippieswordfish: [arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE
@noogscorner: Luke, I am your father. Man you should see your face right now. It's all like waaaaaat no way.