@TheTalkingPipe: This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep.
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@LizHackett: I want my house to be tidy enough so that if someone drops by unexpectedly it doesn't look like we're six days into battling a poltergeist.
@citizenkawala: My wife’s story about her day had 18 sub plots, two false finishes, buried the lead and introduced a new character in the third act.
@notalogin: People who say "go big or go home" seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it's literally my only goal for most of the day.