@FaisalAdam_: This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform...
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@hookmeupinit: Just bit into a Pop Tart so hot that it caused me to involuntarily perform the falsetto "ah-ha-ha-ha-" intro to Stayin' Alive
@JONOCOYOTE: [crime scene] •detective flips open pocket watch• Hmmm...precisely what I thought "What's that sir" •closes watch• It's lunch time
@daemonic3: "Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight." -- The Swiss Army