This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster.

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@8rustystaples: This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster.

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@danielmarven: My GF found lipstick in my pocket, I admitted I'm cheating... I don't want her to know I'm selling AVON.. I want to eat my money in peace

@donni: Smile for the camera. Laugh for the pencil sharpener. Dance for the refrigerator

@KenJennings: I subscribe to Groupon because it's good to know which nearby restaurants have mediocre food & will probably be out of business soon.

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@pakalupapito: i have two moods: ・sleep is for the weak ・sleeping for a week

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@bornmiserable: [United] This is your captain speaking. Underneath each of your seats is a broadsword. In the words of Highlander, there can be only one.

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