@8rustystaples: This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster.
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@jctwritesstuff: I don't discriminate. Love whoever you want. Pansexual is cool with me. I mean, I like pans, I guess. They fry bacon and stuff.
@Rachelnoise: My decorating style is calculated placement of sentimental things around the house, so after I die, my husband can't get laid.
@mstluvstrinkets: I like to slip a Honey Boo Boo episode in every once in awhile to remind my husband that it could be worse.
@KevinFarzad: Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.