@8rustystaples: This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster.
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@alliejane_508: I once left a love note on the wrong car, so yeah, you should totally trust me with important paperwork.
@Sarcasticsapien: When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone? Two days seems like a long time.
@ryangriffiths: People that say "The worst kind of cut is a paper cut" probably haven't been stabbed in the face before.