@mattgallo123: This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions.
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@DanMentos: "So Dave died" Dave from work or Dave who never follows through on things "Both. it was a suicide pact" *dave walks in* hey guys
@BigFatNothing: Good cop: you two could go away for six years each for this Add cop: for a total of twelve years between you
@rob5373: I choked on a carrot earlier and all I could think of is that a donut wouldn't have done that to me.