@mattgallo123: This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pitbull_wizard: [blind date is waiting nervously at the table] *I slowly emerge out of my own massive vape cloud and begin walking towards her*
@SondraDeeMe: I'm sorry I showed you snaps from my colonoscopy after you made me look at your ultrasound. I thought we were sharing pics of our innards.
@ZombieProblms: Oh, so when a survivor takes an arrow to the head, it's a "tragedy." But when a zombie get hit, it's a "good kill." Hypocrites.