@DiabeetusNurse: This chic on Facebook said she ran 17 miles yesterday. Where I live the police would have gave up after like, IDK, 6 miles maybe.
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@SuperApple8: Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop.
@TravLeBlanc: I predict that Obama's next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.
@Soo_Scandalouss: I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand..