@slimmy_shady: This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister
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@WittySassBasket: If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet.
@msdanifernandez: If you liked "These Boots Are Made for Walkin" youll enjoy other hits like "This Toaster Toasts Things" and "Whats the Phone Number for 911"
@BobTheSuit: [Job interview] -Are you going to just keep spinning around in that chair? Sorry. I didn't think we started yet.