@slimmy_shady: This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister
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@PyrBliss: If you don't swear when you're driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road.
@WilliamAder: I wonder if those Gmail password hackers know how much my dog hates having to learn a new name.
@UncleDuke1969: Kids today have it easy! In the old days, before smartphones & Instagram, by the time we finished the painting, our food was already cold.