@KaysNH: This could be the beginning of a beautiful restraining order.
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@ericsshadow: [wife walking in the door after work] WIFE: I had just had the worst... why are our kids in the dog cage? ME: a hello would be nice.
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Your leg is broken ME: So what happens now? D: We put in a cast & it'll recover naturally HORSE: [sticks head round curtain] WHAT?!!
@lecalabara: Wanna know the secret to a good marriage? Sleep. Cant do anything wrong while sleeping. Unless you talk in your sleep, then youre dead.