@delusions_of: This could be the expired methamphetamines talking but yeah, I'd love to babysit your kids.
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@HughGoesThere: [adoption agency] Caseworker: Think you're prepared to be a father? *I perfectly execute the detachable thumb trick* CW (taking notes): Excellent.
@jctwritesstuff: *sets up tent* *unrolls sleeping bag* *tosses down like fourteen decorative pillows* Waitress: Umm... Me: I'll have the endless chips and salsa. Waitress: But you can't-- Me: --I LIVE HERE NOW
@McSwtrvst: Leonardo: Let's go rescue April!! Donatello: Let's do it! Raphael: Bodacious!! Michelangelo: Totally!! Vincent: *cuts off ear* give her this
@tastefactory: You should always choose B) on multiple choice tests because it looks like a cool sunglasses face. That guy knows what he's talking about.