@claire_mudie: This crime scene tape strung between two lampposts is NOT the finish line & these policemen are NOT cheering me on to a glorious victory :(
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@RealDMK: I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out "stop it" every 30 min
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I love the Olympics, but missing Dateline due to the Olympics sucks. One of these athletes better end up being a serial killer or something.
@Oshungurl: Politics isn't confusing. You have a choice of being screwed by one of two gorillas and one is considerate enough to use lube. Now choose.
@PJTLynch: I was laughing at these nerds for wearing their backpack over two shoulders instead of one, and they got so mad they jumped out of the plane