@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?
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@smashbrown_: Gas prices have me feeling like I'm robbing the gas station. "Just leave, before they change their mind."
@Sickayduh: As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola, I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror and I think that says alot
@SoVeryBritish: British seasons: Spring: Two months Summer: Eight minutes Autumn: Three weeks Winter: Seven years
@Jenny4ashley: [gets pulled over for speeding] Where's the fire ma'am? *grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"