@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1940. Carbon-14 was discovered, allowing us to estimate the age of organic materials such as wood, leather, and Cher.
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@notalogin: Sex is like lasagna - there's absolutely no reason for it to involve spinach in any form.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Welcome to the jungle" Thanks. "We've got fun and games" Cool. "You're in the jungle" We've established this "You're gonna die!" Wait what?
@WittySassBasket: H: this may be difficult, but you're pregnant. *flips table* *punches mirror* THAT IS THE LAST TIME I BUY CLEAN URINE OFF CRAIG'S LIST!
@ohpeetie: - "Did you know you can make a pizza crust out of cauliflower?" - "I'm going to reactivate my Facebook so I can unfriend you there too"