@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 2001. Holland legalized assisted suicide for those with terminal illnesses or "It's a Small World" stuck in their head.
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@notalogin: [God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems.
@LizHackett: I want to be rich enough to leave the house-sitter notes like: "If the cheetah looks bored, jog him on the treadmill. He can watch Friends."
@noog: Put on sunglasses. Now run past a crowd of people with your index finger on your ear screaming "SNIPER HAS BEEN SPOTTED SIR"