@TheToddWilliams: This documentary on tree frogs is absolutely ribbiting.
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@EndhooS: Me: and i love that thing u do with ur tongue piercing.. Wife: OMG [storms off] Me: WRITING OUR OWN VOWS WAS YOUR IDEA LYDIA [Priest faints]
@SharkJelly: "Hey honey" *drags a cigarette* "have you ever" *drinks some scotch* "slept with a guy" *sucks a lollipop* "with three arms?"
@dlsims01: Invitations: $10 Cupcakes: $15 Facility rental: $100 Not having 20 kids in my house: priceless Math of a mother