@lecalabara: This dude forgot to put tomatoes on my sandwich. Thanks, "artist". Now I have nothing to pick off.
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@notalogin: *Dentist's waiting room* *Trying to make conversation with other patient* So... I guess you have teeth, too?
@rad_milk: I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now
@Darlainky: A costumer just said to me that my daughter and I look like twins. And I was like, "Well, we were separated at birth."