@lecalabara: This dude forgot to put tomatoes on my sandwich. Thanks, "artist". Now I have nothing to pick off.
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@DurtMcHurtt: I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you.
@rose24_em: 21st century divorce: I want it stipulated that he can't change the Netflix password.
@davidkenny100: I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive