@lecalabara: This dude forgot to put tomatoes on my sandwich. Thanks, "artist". Now I have nothing to pick off.
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@MatCro: [meeting] DIRECTOR: I want amazing CGI PRODUCER: Yes! D: A huge cast P: Agreed! D: Realistic family photos P: We don't have the budget
@dafloydsta: [at the gym] ME: Hey, can you spot me? GUY: Sure, which machine? ME: *gestures to vending machine* Right over there
@thenatewolf: *holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again.
@T_Bonezzz: Cat: Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk... **Coughs up hairball** Dog: You gonna eat that?