@NurseMurderer: This earthquake was the first time that I've ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
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@trevso_electric: Remember: tomorrow is TOPLESS TUESDAY no matter what human resources tells you.
@Emma_HumbleBea: When my cat has an accident on the carpet, he hides to escape responsibility. It's a, "shit and run".
@weinerdog4life: No time to explain, I need 300 copies of this cat! *throws cat at Kinko's employee