@pixelatedboat: This Easter, please take a moment to remember Jesus and his inspiring message for mankind:
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@urgeekisshowing: Personal trainer: So what's your goal? Me: I wanna look good in pictures that I'm not the one taking
@Dutch_50: Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?" Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.
@youcancallmesim: Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?