@pixelatedboat: This Easter, please take a moment to remember Jesus and his inspiring message for mankind:
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@AbbyHasIssues: People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch.
@RamblingMachine: A truck with the slogan "We always go the extra mile" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it "because we missed the exit" as a revenge.
@WalkingOutside: My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces.