@ktmcburr: This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers.
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@mjkspeaks: [interview] THEM: what would you say if i gave you money from the register and told you to keep it? ME: thank you.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Now what's the rule, son? 11yo: *sighs* If his first album came out after 2000, I can't call him a rapper. Me: You're learning...
@AndyAsAdjective: *takes long drag from cigarette* *stares off into the distance* *slowly glances down at hand* *lights cigarette*