@ktmcburr: This entire pizza told me thigh gaps are for queers.
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@trentistweeting: [me trying to do magic] Is this your card? "No" Is THIS your card? "Not even close" What about THIS? "Trent thats literally a piece of ham"
@salamingia: Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up
@neerjagurnani: Dear autocorrect, at no point in time have I meant to say "I'm affordable" instead of "I'm adorable". Stop embarrassing me.