@QwertyJones3: This florist doesn't even know anything about floors, and he's acting like I'm the stupid one!
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@shatterpants: I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want.
@SCbchbum: Officer pulled me over & asked if I knew what the speed limit was, like I'm getting paid to tell him his job.
@theroneman: Captain: You’re suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop.