@corinnemlwsw: This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
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@LeBearGirdle: Neighbor: can you watch my dog? Me: like through your window? N: no, I meant like- Me: cause I don't do that now N: watc- Me: okay once
@sameblacklist: If Eve sacrificed the whole human race for an apple, have you ever wondered what she would have done for a cucumber?
@gobmentcheese: Interviewer: So, tell me a little about yourself. Me: I'm very attracted to you right now.
@Tmoney68: Trying to convince a kid, no matter the age, that they're tired, is like trying to tell a drunk they're drunk. Denial & anger will follow.