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@Rachel_England: This forever.
@flashember: Meow meow meow
[Wife comes home early]
*cats scramble to untie me from the torture rack*
THELMA I TOLD YOU THE CATS HATE ME I TOLD YOU
@VerbsRProudest: How Am I Doing? I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8
@allthenachos: An online dating service but to match you up with prospective burritos.
@theshamingofjay: Thanks for sending your Blackberry pin to my iPhone.
When did you get electricity in your cave?
@svnsxtional: I can give out my number and I bet 8152898509 dollars my phone will still be dry.