@seriouslyemily: This girls skirt is so short I can see how many times her dad missed a dance recital from here.
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@HatfieldAnne: I don't know. “Your goose is cooked” seems like a positive. Like someone saying, “Hey, dinner’s ready. We're having goose.”
@BiIIMurray: I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
@LocoBurritoMan: Today I got chased by a thief trying to steal my wallet.. I managed to get away, but he definitely gave me a good run for my money!