@LukeMones: This google docs thing is lame. Whatever happened to those viruses that turned your screen into a laughing skull & shut down the power grid?
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@julietactually: [taking the witness stand] "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but—" *leaning into the mic* I choose dare
@doktorj: A horror movie, but the monster chasing me is my coworker that wants to tell me about her date last night. *twists ankle by the copier
@WritePlay: "All the single ladies... All the single ladies... All the single ladies..." - list of girls who wouldn't talk to me in high school