@passion8turk: This green smoothie tastes like God wants me to be fat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fart: if cops want to catch serial killers why don't they just hang out at petsmart and follow home the guys that buy tarantulas
@missmayn: Mexico should agree to pay for the wall then once it's built tell Trump he did a terrible job and refuse to pay up.
@tastefactory: *slides into home plate and crowd goes wild* Hey everybody, be quiet for a minute! *pulls out phone, dials number* Hi mom, I got home safe.
@Reverend_Scott: GOD: Done. ANGEL: What is it? GOD: A penguin. ANGEL: So it can fly, right? GOD: This one's a swimmin' bird. ANGEL: Dude... are you ok?