@passion8turk: This green smoothie tastes like God wants me to be fat.
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@ComedicBust: My girlfriend's furious that I bought her The Golden Girls box set for her birthday, but I knew she'd get over it since she's not real.
@Supafunkadunka: If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite.
@Marlebean: [ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! "Toilet paper?!"