@RickAaron: This grocery store is playing "Freebird" which I interpret as an invitation to shoplift a turkey.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@markleggett: MAJOR TOM: Tell my wife I love her very much… GROUND CONTROL: She knows. MAJOR TOM: Wait… Is she with you now? GROUND CONTROL: Bye, Tom.
@DVSblast: NO MATTER HOW MANY ALIENS BIT SCULLY SHE STUCK TO HER GUNS LIKE "NO THESE ARE SCIENCE BITES". KINDA GOTTA RESPECT THAT.
@BadassBarbie11: If you blow out the kid's Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
@jonnysun: EXCITED INVENTOR: this is the best thimg since sliced bread!!!!! SLICED BREAD: [anxiously smokig in the corner] i wish i was never invented