@DurtMcHurtt: This guy in my living room must think I'm an idiot, he says he picked my lock but I distinctly remember choosing it at the store by myself.
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@DanielAda1960: Napkins used after eating hot wings and then put in your pocket should NEVER be used as toilet paper no matter how much you've had to drink.
@tigersgoroooar: pretty cool how no matter what's going on in the world, a teenager in a Metallica shirt will always look the same no matter what year it is.
@PetrickSara: "You saw nothing." -me, to the neighbor kids about the toy I just shoved in the trash