@DurtMcHurtt: This guy in my living room must think I'm an idiot, he says he picked my lock but I distinctly remember choosing it at the store by myself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@eyeswidebutt: if a bear is attacking you play dead and then play resurrection this will cause the bear to either worship u or deny ur existence
@AndyAsAdjective: Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.