@amishschool: This guy in my office is a little paranoid and it's making it that much harder to poison him.
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@10InchesPlus: Not sure if you'll like golf? Walk on a treadmill for four hours under a sun lamp then throw away $75 when you're done.
@GrantTanaka: Hi 911, I’d like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol