@SSDated: This guy in the elevator asked for my number so I wrote it on his arm. Apparently he meant which floor, so that was awkward.
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@13spencer: If the headline just read "Kanye West Acts Like a Shithead," news sites could reuse it over and over again.
@PJTLynch: Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food
@astutenewf: Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it's lettuce.
@KalvinMacleod: ME: ok doc what's wrong DOCTOR: u have 6 months to live ME: *leans in closer* no what's wrong DOCTOR: it's just u only visit me when ur sick