@Dawn_M_: This guy is choking on the last hotdog I wanted so I'm just going to let him die.
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@TheRolo: [Text convo] Her: Can I come over right now? Me: [Puts entire mess in closet, puts high thread count sheets on bed & sprays Febreeze] Sure.
@WhatTheFFacts: Boxer Sugar Ray dreamt of killing his opponent and backed out, but a priest convinced him to fight, he ended up killing the opponent.
@fuzzlime: I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm "approachable" & the upper class thinks I'm "eclectic"