@CheryeDavis: This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said "No thanks I'll walk"
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@SomthinBoutSara: I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights.
@Chicken_Hawk38: I only had one beer Cupcake Can i call you Cupcake? No?? Okay, I only had one beer Officer.
@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright
@UncleDuke1969: Jim: I'm totally spacing out on a word. Me: OK J: What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink? M: Linda.