@_Mo_lee_: This guy next to me thinks I'm flirting, but really I'm just trying to see where he parks so I can steal his gas
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@thenatewolf: *showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!
@girlontapas: One of my personalities goes to the grocery store and buys healthy food... Now, I can't find anything to eat in the fridge.
@SteveSuckington: Welcome to Gullible Victim Club. Lol. I can't believe you showed up. Now gimme your purse or I'll stab you.
@rkatz94: Me: I'll have a scotch on the rocks with a twist Bartender slides drink "Your dad's alive. He's hiding in Cuba" M: Did NOT see that coming