@Swishergirl24: This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I'm pretty sure "God" is trying to kill him.
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@Ivsy01: You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car.
@david8hughes: If I'm found dead in the bathtub clutching a toaster, check for Pop-Tarts before jumping to conclusions.
@tastefactory: "What're you in for?" "I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it." "We've all been there, brother."
@mdvaldosta: Ladies: we're not fooled by your PMS trickery. I see how happy you are in those tampon commercials.