@orny_xo: This guy thinks I'm taking down his number, but I'm really just writing this tweet.
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@BobTheSuit: I need some sun. My legs are so white they just drove to Whole Foods in their Prius.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Febreze commercial: "Now we remove her blindfold and..." *has panic attack, stabs camera man, vomits, jumps out closed window*